


Refilling Bottles

by Jpnpr



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, One Shot, i just had to get it out, thats only ever edited past midnight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:21:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jpnpr/pseuds/Jpnpr
Summary: Tim and Jason are fighting, Tim's really good at not acknowledging emotional pain while still using it in an argument (or so he thinks) and Jason's disturbed.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 10
Kudos: 209





	Refilling Bottles

He had no idea how they had gotten from a simple invitation from Dick to Jason for Thanksgiving to… this. A shouting match. Jason was particularly agitated today, and Tim just couldn't let it go. Maybe it was Dick's insistence, or Bruce's hopeful look at Tim (of course it looked like the regular glance Bruce had on his face, but the tiniest drop of emotion was worth gold if it was rare enough).

“Can't you see that you're hurting him? Hurting everyone?”

“It doesn't hurt him. The only thing he cares about are his precious morals. How a kid he thought he had under control has started taking matters into his own hands.”

Tim took a deep breath and calmed his voice, forcing it to sound not too admonishing. “Of course he cares about you, Jason, he would do anything -”

“Don't you dare finish that sentence, Pretender. He didn't care when I died. He wouldn't even kill Joker. My murderer. The guy that killed his kid. Instead he went off like nothing happened.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about. He was devastated. He was lashing out, without control, pulling no punches. You think this Batman is dark? You should have seen him then. He shut off everyone, Dick, Alfred, Gordon -”

“Oh, boohoo, he had a depressive episode?” A mocking pout was dancing on Jason's face, making fun of a time Tim had suffered months from.

He couldn't understand how Jason couldn't see it, after they had told him repeatedly about the darkest time in Batman’s life. “How can you talk about him like that? You know how much he loves you.”

“He deserves everything for what he didn't do for me.” Jason's voice was cold enough to freeze every single molecule. More than that, suddenly it seemed directed solely on Tim.  
“He should have done more, Replacement. What we had was worth more than that. He was the one person I trusted. I was his kid. Our time was worth more than what he did.”  
Jason took another step towards Tim, close enough that his finger pointing at Tim almost touched his chest.

“How would you feel, Replacement? What would you do, if someone killed you, and B did nothing about it. If someone took his precious Robin from him, and he just let it go?”

Close. Close. He was standing too close.

“If everything he did to get you back were some pathetic invitations, although you told him the simple thing that could fix everything?”

There was a buzzing in his ear. Getting louder with every word out of Jason's mouth. It's not the same. It's not.

“What, no words left to say, Replacement?” A cruel chuckle. “Then again, you've always been worth more than me, right?”

Tim didn't know what caused him to snap. If it were the carelessly thrown words, the knowing smile, the convinced tone, or something entirely different. But everything seemed like a big joke, like he was missing a punchline somewhere. “I've been always worth more than you? Are you actually blind?” Maybe Jason was missing the punchline, this couldn't be real, right?

Tim's disbelieving smile quickly turned into a glare, making Jason take a step back. He looked almost spooked by the sudden outburst, but Tim couldn't bring himself to care.

“More than… Are you serious?”

Jason's eyes got sharper again, and suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. How dare he. How dare he?

“Listen, Jason. I'm prepared to take a lot shit from you, listen to your rants about Bruce, because most of the time you have a point somewhere. I get that he's an emotionally constipated, implacable, hypocritical bastard, alright? But whatever you say, I'm not going to let you just nullify your worth in his eyes, or the stuff he went through after - after.”

Jason opened his mouth, but Tim continued. “You think you're the Robin that didn't matter? There is a memorial in the cave, where everyone has to see it, has to pay respect. You think it was easy to take me in after you? I had to beg him. For weeks. But no, the suit belonged to you, no matter how much Gotham needed Robin, how much he needed Robin. You want to know how many times Bruce told me to get lost? That he never wanted me there? You think I wasn't reminded a thousand times that you could never be replaced, that I could never be you?

“You think Bruce isn't doing enough to get you back? ‘pathetic invitations’? You killed people, Jason. You're still killing. Doing the thing I thought Bruce would never forgive. He won't ever condone it, but he still wants to see you home. You and I know he can't kill Joker, because for him that would be giving up Batman, and that's just not an option. What else can he do? What options are you leaving him? Drag you home? Knock you out, kidnap you?

“Yes, he's still trying to stop you from killing. So what? He's just trying to help you become a better person, in his own obdurate standards. He's doing it because he cares about you!”

“That's not-”

“I'm not done!” Tim all but yelled. “How dare you compare Bruce's love for you with my relationship to him?

“You want to know how it is like when he doesn't care? He doesn't even ask you why you're gone. He doesn't ask you what you think, why you did what you did.

“You were gone, Jason, Bruce went homicidal, even suicidal. I was gone, Bruce celebrated the kid that kicked me out. You think you're not welcome, that it's pretended? You came back, Bruce ran after you for weeks! I was gone, he didn't even ask me where. Dick begged you to come back. I, the new kid, begged you to come home. After you tried to kill me. I -” Tim tried to swallow down the tears threatening to come. “I was always ready to give Robin back, if you had just wanted it. I would have given up everything for you to come back.”

Jason's eyes were wide at the unexpected breakdown, but Tim couldn't stop. It was like something had broken the dam and the water was drowning everything else.

“You know what happens when you're me? The pretender, the interloper, the Robin that doesn't matter? Your own brother takes your cape. The assassin kid that appeared out of nowhere, that had almost succeeded in killing you several times, takes away your cape. He kicks you out of your house. Your brother does nothing about it. He calls you crazy for looking for your dad, for his dad! Then you find your dad, and you come back, and you're still the outcast. That's the one that doesn't matter.

“After everything that happened, you're still a part of the family. They still miss you. They still want you back, want you happy.” He took a breath, however shaky. “I want you back, happy, even though I was never your brother.”

It was quiet for a couple seconds, quiet for all but Tim's panting and the screams of the words that still hung in the air.

Quiet until Jason could gather himself. “Just because they- they treated you like that, too-”

Tim felt his breath rise again. “Don't you get it? It's not about me! I'm not telling you because I deserve better or anything. It doesn't matter. I'm the example for when it doesn't matter.  
“I'm still here, right? I'll still come when anyone calls, I'll always help, I'm here. This isn't about me. I'm telling you, how they treat you is so much more than ‘it doesn't matter’. You're so much more to them. And I know they suck at showing it, but staying away because you think you're not important to them, to him, is the dumbest reason to come up with.”

Tim was begging him. They were both aware. There was a mixture of determination, disbelief, longing in his eyes that Jason had never seen before. He knew he should consider it, that maybe, maybe the kid had a point, but the way Tim had said the earlier words, how he seemed to just push everything away, how he had literally broken down, than bottled up again without even realizing himself… It occupied Jason’s mind more than anything else.

Jason gulped. “You would have given Robin just because I asked?” He couldn't understand, how Tim just… The kid was made for Robin. Robin was made for him. He'd just (probably inadvertently) revealed how much it had hurt him to lose it. He would have given it up for… Jason?

“Of course, it was yours, anyway. I-”

“Why? Why would you do that for me? For Bruce, for Dick?”

Tim frowned, tilted his head, like he didn't understand the question. Like it was obvious. “You deserve to be happy, after everything that happened to you. All of you. It's just stupid to see you wander around each other on eggshells, fighting just for the sake of it…”

Jason let the kid ramble on, list another couple of meaningless saps, just listening as Tim didn't include himself even once while talking about all of them like they hung the moon.  
Goldie had once told him, with a fond smile, about the fanboy that had survived inside the kid. Now it was just heartbreaking to watch.

What could have gone so badly that this kid wasn't even questioning the thought of being worthless, instead trying to save a dysfunctional family he didn't even consider himself a part of?

“Jason?”

Of course Tim would realize Jason wasn't listening. The smartest one of them. The most rational one. Jason's most valuable ally in this goddamn city. Jason owed him, if no one else. “I'll come.”

Tim blinked in surprise. “What, really?” Waiting for a catch.

Jason knew he was being analyzed. He stared back with the same intensity. “I'm not promising anything else. I'll be there.” He was going to fix this, whatever it was. And for that, he needed to be there.

Tim was suspicious. Jason could see the questions burning behind those eyes that were already considering him like a case, perfect walls once again high up. Jason was getting an idea how things could have gotten this far. But at least Tim knew better than pushing further.  
\-----------------------------------  
After Jason left, Tim fell on his couch like someone had cut all his strings.

Jason had agreed.

Tim would feel happy, later, ecstatic maybe. But right now, he was just tired. Drained of every drop of energy, of life, he pretended to have. The second he closed his eyes, he heard voices haunting him, words that were once said, most of them not carrying any meaning anymore, except for the little holes that they had drilled somewhere deep. First Jason's, then a mixture of everyone.

_Pretender._

_Replacement._

_InterloperCrazyDon'tneedaRobin._

_Don't need you._

He tried to close his eyes even more. It didn't work. It never did.  
_It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I don't know what this is either. There mayyy be continuation (no promises though)


End file.
